he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
