he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
