I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
