Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
