Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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