I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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