hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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