dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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