Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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