so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
