if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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