HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
