Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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