What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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