chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize