I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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