I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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