If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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