Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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