it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
