Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
