I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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