Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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