So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
