its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm like, not good at living.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
