he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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