My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
did you just send me my own nude
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
