literally had 100 drinks last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
