Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
