I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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