ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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