hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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