let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
