And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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