Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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