I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
