On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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