jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
