So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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