if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
