sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
