Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
