I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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