I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
