Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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