I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
