I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
