you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Couch. On fire.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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