cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
