on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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