I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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