Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
