he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
