so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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