that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
