The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
