I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
love makes seman taste better
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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