he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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